First Of The Summer

i have found my way back after being lost in the summer

to be naïve and to be stupid

to know that you want as if you are a child

these are the things that bring you shame

but that doesn’t mean you want her any less

there are so many ways to feel like an adult

writing out a grocery list

comforting your mother when she cries

but this falls away when you ache for someone that you hardly knew

you want her, and isn’t that silly?

you want to kneel down and press your lips to her knees and pray to her

you’re a silly little girl and you pale in the shadow of adult experience

you wait for her under the guise that you’re just biding your time for someone better

you wait for her even though it’s what you chose not to do

somehow it all comes back around to waiting

you are naïve and you are stupid

you want as if you are a child

is there someone better?

has she already found someone better?

am i a fleeting moment in a series of moments

or do i still cross her mind?