to be naïve and to be stupid
to know that you want as if you are a child
these are the things that bring you shame
but that doesn’t mean you want her any less
there are so many ways to feel like an adult
writing out a grocery list
comforting your mother when she cries
but this falls away when you ache for someone that you hardly knew
you want her, and isn’t that silly?
you want to kneel down and press your lips to her knees and pray to her
you’re a silly little girl and you pale in the shadow of adult experience
you wait for her under the guise that you’re just biding your time for someone better
you wait for her even though it’s what you chose not to do
somehow it all comes back around to waiting
you are naïve and you are stupid
you want as if you are a child
is there someone better?
has she already found someone better?
am i a fleeting moment in a series of moments
or do i still cross her mind?